The Myth of Noble Lies

Created on April 28, 2025

Since childhood, many of us have been taught that lying is acceptable if it’s “for someone else’s sake.” This idea gives people permission to believe they are still good, even when they deceive others—not for selfish reasons, they claim, but to protect or help someone else. In most cases, this often satisfies a hidden desire for control, disguised as concern.

To make my case, I’ll take the example of the most selfless relationship: that of a parent and child.

A Lesson from God of War: Freya and Baldur

Recently, I became interested in the God of War games and found one story arc particularly powerful: the relationship between Freya (the mother) and Baldur (her son).

Out of deep love for her son, Freya casts a powerful spell to make Baldur invulnerable to harm. But this protection turns into a curse. Baldur can no longer feel anything—pain, pleasure, or any physical sensation. Despite repeatedly begging his mother to reverse the spell, Freya refuses, claiming she cannot, even though she actually can.

Robbed of a fundamental choice that should have been his alone, Baldur’s love for Freya turns into pure hatred. Driven by her obsession to control and protect, Freya remains blind to the suffering she has caused. In the end, Baldur’s hatred grows so strong that he attempts to kill his own mother.

Such is the devastating result of stealing someone’s freedom to choose their own fate.

Control Disguised as Care

Why do we believe we know better than others about their lives? What gives us the right to manipulate someone, even under the excuse of doing it “for their own good”?

If we truly care for someone, isn’t it our responsibility to educate and guide them—and then trust them to make the right decision on their own?

By manipulating people or withholding important information, we aren’t protecting them—we’re robbing them of their freedom. And in my view, that’s far worse than allowing them to make mistakes.

If our intentions were genuinely noble, we wouldn’t need to deceive or manipulate. The truth is, what drives us is often an obsession with control—over the people and environments around us, even those we love. But admitting this bruises our ego, so we craft a comforting story about how our actions are noble and selfless.

The Irreparable Damage

If you still believe that bending someone’s reality is a noble act, consider the consequences from Nietzsche himself:

I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you - Nietzsche

Even if someone understands that you had good intentions, the fact remains—you lied. Trust, once broken, is almost impossible to repair. And with it, the foundation of the relationship suffers a permanent wound.

Final Thoughts

To be clear, I’m not talking about lying in general. I’m specifically addressing those situations where people lie under the illusion that they’re performing an altruistic act—when, in reality, they are acting out of a selfish desire to control, often without realizing it. The lengths to which human mind goes to avoid accountability is quite funny.

At the core of all this, I believe the need to control others stems from a lack of control over one’s own self. But this is just my theory—maybe I’m wrong.